The Duty of the Octogenarian

 As one reaches my age, there is a sense of responsibility to be diligent in passing along hard-learned lessons in living. We see our grandchildren and their friends beginning to make the decisions that will determine the course of their lives, and we want to help them avoid setting living/thinking patterns that will lead to dissatisfaction, and unhappiness in their personal lives. We want them to see the value that their personal choices have in the continuation of a prosperous and functioning culture. Also, we are aware that many (most?) twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings have been taught by society that all opinions and ideas are equally valuable, and they don't need to listen to anybody else's input in their decision-making (a catastrophically erroneous idea).

For those willing at attend to a few life-experience opinions and recommendations, I offer these:

1. From your early days of marriage, set a pattern of real sharing with your partner. Be sure that you discuss more than just what's for dinner and who's going to mow the lawn. If you want your marriage to endure and thrive into your old age, you must KNOW this person you married. I regret that, in the hugeness of child-bearing, child-raising, and career-building, we had few discussions about what we read, what we heard in worship service, what direction we hoped to see our country move, and many other topics that would have given us insight to our partner's thinking.

2. Read regularly.

• When you read fiction, read at least some REALISTIC fiction (as opposed to all horror, fantasy, sci-fi, or the adrenaline-inducing "action" or "erotic" novels) The reason for this recommendation is that in realistic fiction we see real people facing real problems (like some you might face) and making difficult decisions. You have the opportunity to witness and evaluate the consequences of various life decisions as you read the denouement of the story. How often in real like could you have the opportunity to see, ahead of your own experience, what the long-term complications of a decision might be?
• When you read non-fiction, read about people or subjects that will give you something to admire, strive for, learn that will contribute to the success/happiness/productivity of your own life.

3. Remind yourself regularly that the only way to improved society is to improve individuals. When you live a clean, admirable, productive, and influencial life, you are doing your part to build a good society for future generations. You have little control over how other people live their lives.

4. Recognize that old proverbs, "sayings" "folk wisdom", etc. are actually good and helpful to remember and consider. They endured through generations because people through generations recognized their truth. Some of these include famous bible verses, quotes from great thinkers of the past, such as C.S. Lewis, Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, Abraham Lincoln, and many others.

5. I will add to this as I think of things that I consider really important.

2020 Election: Why I Voted for Trump

 From Norma Bruce (Facebook 12/14/2020):

In 2016, I was not an enthusiastic Trump supporter. But I saw results in his presidency I hadn't seen in my entire life.

1. Lots of presidents have claimed to be supporters of the unborn, the weakest and most fragile of all Americans. He's the only President who has been their advocate, both in supporting the larger political movements and organizations, but in attempting to reduce the demonic threat of Planned Parenthood. I'm a one issue voter, because without life, the other advantages of being an American don't matter. His was not just a campaign promise. He took action and provided moral support.

2. Being a Trump supporter is an education like we've never had before. He was not indebted to either party and we really saw the fangs and claws come out when he began calling out the good old boys' club that is DC politicking. We saw the unelected bureaucrats rise up and defend their lives at the public trough. We knew the legislatures at the state and federal level had become very weak, but we really took notice on how the most insignificant judge on the lowest court could take on the president and prevent him from undoing the shady executive orders of the previous president.

3. We began to see why his slogan "Make America Great Again" was such an anathema to Democrats, increasingly controlled by its left flank. Why the red hats had to be snatched from heads, and ugly arguments started. Why the pink hats had to make women look like blood thirsty baby killers.

3-a The United States has been horribly weakened by foreign infiltrators who fund and support Communist movements within. These movements rewrite history and try to destroy positive gains in the last decades in race relations, class distinctions, and age discrimination.

3-b Hard work and ambition were renamed by these demonic forces as "white privilege" even as blacks had become some of the wealthiest opinion makers and most powerful politicians in our country, and there are 2 full time cable channels (all white) devoted just the Spanish language programming.

3-c Every difference in culture or preference or speech was shouted down as microaggression and dog whistles.

3-d Minorities were demeaned by the Democrats and Never Trumpers as being helpless victims if they tried to leave the party or start a successful business.

3-e The police were caricatured as criminals even though statistics for police violence were at an all time low, and black on black crime was rising again. The leftists were so panicked that with the help of members of Congress, they began demands to "defund" the police and replace them with social workers, as though criminals were just misunderstood children.

3-f National pass times and leisure industries like sports, late night TV "comedy," social media, theatre, movies and the overwhelming liberal and classist academe industry joined forces to ridicule and finger point at the outsider in the White House, who knew a better way to reduce the size of government and raise incomes for all.

3-g While Trump worked quietly to get a better balance in the courts, he was very successful, and unless the new appointees lose their love for the Constitution, future Americans will not have the burden of a plastic ever changing law based on the feelings and personalities of the judges.

3-h The international events have been incredible. The Leftists gnashed their teeth when Trump soothed the little North Korean despot, and they swore it would be WWIII. Trump got us out of ridiculous international agreements which would allow China and India to move ahead, while we Americans paid higher taxes for their pollution. The accomplishments in the Middle East should be his biggest legacy and the previous presidents from Carter to Clinton to Bush to Obama, should hang their heads in shame for at least not moving the capital of Israel as they all promised and then "forgot" has their loyalty to Muslim dictators took over.

3-i The virus that began in Wuhan, China, and spread all over the world, the leftists finally had to blame on President Trump. They encouraged damaging lockdowns and then snarled when the economy rebounded in the summer. His operation Warp Speed they’ve tried to belittle and demean because it’s never been done before as a business man would tackle a problem. The Left can’t let this stand, and will blame every death on Trump rather than those politicians who continued well into March to welcome foreigners (especially Chinese) into their cities where it spread beyond control.

4. Perhaps we were most educated about the role of media in our culture and politics. Never (with the exception of Mrs. Abraham Lincoln) has a FLOTUS been so maligned or ignored, criticized for her accent, her good works, and even her Christmas decor! Never has a president with Jewish in-laws and grandchildren been so compared to Hitler (although they did it to Bush also)--but then, have we ever had a President with a Jewish daughter? The media criticized his business acumen and properties, while ignoring the clear criminal behavior of Joe and Jim Biden, and Hunter Biden. We saw a news media who were completely not interested in investigation, truth, history, the Constitution, or anything other than the commands from above, like Zucker on CNN. Although we have many more outlets for information, with hundreds, maybe thousands of podcasts, blogs, vlogs, "expert witnesses," independent researchers and writers, we also have a constipated traditional media begging for clicks on their websites, and being wolves in sheepskins. Anyone with an original thought is fired, or "cancelled."

5. We've seen how words that used to have meaning, like racist, Nazi, white supremacist, terrorist, have all been made meaningless by the new "woke" vocabulary, pieces of rope on garage doors, hoaxes perpetrated with great attention like Jesse Smollet's, when in fact President Trump has done more for minorities in education, prison sentences, rising income and lower unemployment than any president in my life time. And he's done it by NOT treating them as helpless victims who need government assistance. He's treated them as people worthy of respect--and for that he's called a Nazi. As an aside, as part of our education we've learned that half of liberal Americans don't know that a National Socialist (Nazi) and a Communist are brothers under the skin, one with local plans to invade and take over, and the other with global plans. Either way, Trump has done neither--hasn't invaded any countries with which we share a border, and he hasn't worked with China to infiltrated other countries.

And that's a few of the reasons I'm standing by the President. You can add your own thoughts for those programs or ideas that have educated you.

9/11/2019

For almost 3000 Americans, 9/11/01 was simply a regular day. Some went to work expecting a routine workday. Some went to the airport in order to meet a business need or celebrate a family occasion. Some were keeping a routine appointment of some kind. Some were taken there in their mother's/father's arms to be cared for while their parents worked. All of them left home that morning not knowing that they had seen their loved ones for the last time. Their lives were needlessly taken away because of the evil plans of other people - and because of the action those perpetrators took based on WHAT THEY BELIEVED.

Don't tell me "It doesn't matter what you believe as long as you believe it sincerely." That is a HUGE fallacy. It DOES matter what you believe. It DOES matter when you believe that YOU should determine how others should live their lives or meet their deaths. It DOES matter when people allow some organization (be it the government or some religious/social hierarchy) to legislate their personal choices. God bless the thousands of His children whose lives were lost and the tens of thousands of His children who were negatively impacted that day because of the mistaken, but strongly held, beliefs of a few other people.

God give us the wisdom to use the lessons learned from that terrible day to build a kinder, gentler society. God give us the strength to resist evil in whatever form it presents itself.

Why I Will Probably Vote for Donald Trump

"On July 17, 1980, 35 years ago, when he accepted the Republican presidential nomination, Ronald Reagan—the great communicator—outlined what he intended to do as president with five little words—family, work, neighborhood, peace, and freedom." (quotation from The Daily Signal article "Five Little Words That Helped Change a Nation") 

Although the country who heard that speech is very different from the America of 2016, the Republican party still basically supports those same values (assuming that the platform presented and approved at the convention this week will be a remake of the usual.) 

• Reagan mentioned FAMILY (In 2016 that translates to protection of life from conception to tomb, and lack of federal interference in family businesses) 
• He mentioned WORK (Today that means stopping the influx of illegal immigrants who take jobs that our citizens need or who further burden welfare programs). 
• The third key word of Reagan's speech was NEIGHBORHOOD (Today the party stands for limiting the continuing expansion of federal control over state and local issues and personal and religious freedoms.) 
• PEACE was Reagan's fourth keyword. (Peace through strength is still favored by the Republicans - restoring our strong military and uniting - instead of further dividing - Americans is a concern in 2016.) 
• Reagan's final keyword in 1980 was FREEDOM (The concern in 2016 is not only national freedom through a strong military, but also a personal and economic freedom in which citizens spend their money as THEY see fit instead of the government dictates.)

While I don't like the presumptive nominee of the Republican party, I know that any president is defined and limited by the policies of his/her party. I think it is foolish for an American to waste his/her vote by either not voting at all or by writing in a candidate who cannot win. Our country will be run by the policies of either the Republican or the Democratic party. It is my strong opinion that a responsible citizen will vote for the candidate of the party whose policies and ideals most closely align with his/hers. I will vote for Donald Trump if he is nominated, as expected. I don't like him; but our country will be much better under the stated platform and known policies of the Republican Party than under the stated platform and known policies of the Democrats.

In Memory of Robert Joseph Foti

I wrote this tribute to a valient 9/11 hero on the 5th anniversary of his death. I reprinted in on the 6th anniversary and am reprinting it again on this 10th anniversary. God bless the memory of this wonderful fireman and his colleagues who gave their all that day!

9-11 Tribute - Robert Joseph Foti

On the fifth anniversary of the terrible events of September 11, 2001, bloggers around the world paid tribute to those who died in those terrorists attacks. I had the honor of paying tribute to NY firefighter, Robert Joseph Foti.

Here is a reprint of that tribute to one of our brave public servants who lost his life serving the public that day.

In Memory of Robert Joseph Foti
New York City Fire Fighter:

As we approach the 5th anniversary of the coordinated terrorist attacks on the United States in which so many lives were lost, it is right and proper that we remind ourselves and the world of what we all lost on that day. Robert J. Foti, brave New York City Fireman, was one of those great losses.

Robert Joseph Foti, son of Rosemarie and Joseph Foti, husband of Mary Grace, and father of 12-year-old Alycia, 11-year old Robert, and 4-year-old James, was 42 years old and supporting his family as a New York City firefighter. He had worked on Ladder 7 in Manhattan for 13 years.

The morning of September 11, 2001 began like most others as this hard-working, much-loved son, husband, father, and friend, was getting ready to go home after working an overnight shift. He called his wife at 8:40 to tell her he would be getting off work at 9:00. This was the last time anyone heard from Bobby, as he was called by family and friends. He died while saving others in the burning towers of the World Trade Center.

In the memorial held on October 6, 2001, family and friends mourned his loss with no remains to bury and no burial site to visit.

On September 10, 2002, the New York Times ran an article about him in which they told of a snapshot they referred to as “The Santa Claus Picture” which was displayed in the firehouse. Mary Grace, Bobby’s wife, had seen him and their son, James, in the bathtub with soapsuds beards like Santas. Bobby was chewing a cigar and had his arms around James. He protested laughingly at her intent to take a picture, but the result of her determination made a great photo.

On March 22, 2003, this story emerged: Bobby and Mary Grace honeymooned in Jamaica in June 2001. Both were stunned at the poverty they saw there. Bobby was killed only 4 months later, but a group called Food for the Poor raised money in the names of those rescue workers who perished in the terrorist attacks of 9/11/2001. With the funds raised they built many 12 by 12 wooden homes for impoverished families in Jamaica. They built one home for each of the rescuers who died in the World Trade Center, a total of 403 houses! Mary Grace Foti said she cried when she received the photo of the home built to honor Bobby. The photo showed the smiling recipient family standing proudly in front of their new home.

On March 23, 2003, Newsday magazine writer, Nick Iyer, wrote: “Robert Joseph Foti and his wife, Mary Grace, were driving home to Albertson from Old Westbury Gardens in August when they spotted an elderly woman in an old jalopy, stranded with a flat tire. Foti got out of his car and pried off the flat and replaced it with the spare. After he finished, the woman called him an angel and offered him $10 for his services. Foti refused, but the woman insisted. He took the money, but snuck it into her purse when she wasn't looking, his wife recalled recently. ‘That was just the type of guy he was. He was always helping people.’"

Iyer also told this story (paraphrased by me to shorten the story): After seeing the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade last year with his family, Foti drove to his mother-in-law’s home, mashed the potatoes, carved the turkey and cleaned up after dinner. "He was always there," Mrs. Tastor said.

This notice was printed in the On Friday, October 15, 2004, at 1000 hours: There will be a street renaming ceremony honoring the memory of Robert J. Foti, who made the supreme sacrifice on September 11, 2001. The ceremony will take place at the corner of Grand Street and the FDR Drive, Manhattan. All off-duty members and their families are invited to attend as a mark of respect to the deceased. Members are requested to attend in dress uniform.

Following are some quotes from memorials written by family, friends and acquaintances:

From Mary Grace Foti, wife:

He was always stopping to help someone or doing the dishes. He would go on all the field trips with the mothers. It was his nature to help others, which explains why he became a fireman. He was very adventurous and outgoing. He liked to take risks. The more time that has passed, the harder it gets, the longer it has been since I've heard his voice. Things that were clear aren't so clear anymore. They say it has to get harder before it gets better. I guess that's where I am right now.

I lost track of the source of the following quote in a computer crash in 2007:

"Rose Foti (Bobby’s mother) and I met for only a few minutes, but we had both lost a loved one in the attacks. When we got off the shuttle ride we were sharing, she gave me a shirt to give to my friend’s widow. The shirt was imprinted: 'Before he was an Angel, Hero, Fireman, he was my son!'"

Maryellen Teaman, friend:

Bob was a hero long before September 11. About four years ago when I was picking up my daughter from the Epiphany School on East 22nd Street, I saw a truck that was on fire, rolling down Second Avenue. It was veering toward 22nd Street. Bob was at the school picking up his kids. He saw the truck; he ran to it, opened the door, looking for the driver, who had gotten out of the truck blocks away, when it first caught on fire. Bob turned the ignition of,f the truck stopped, and a tragedy was averted. There were many kids due to come out of school at that time. The truck could have crashed into parked cars on the block. He did not give a thought to his own safety. I was in awe of his response. I called his house that night to thank him for being a hero.

Jeff, Violaine, Jeff Jr., and Joey Acevedo:
Bobby, we will miss you, I never thanked you for the time you helped Joey when he got hurt in 5th grade at the Yankee Game, I thought about it all the time and never took the minute to say thanks. We will miss your umpire days in PSLL and those awful calls you made (smile). You are a great guy and were very brave, you will be missed so will your sense of humor.

Mike Nunez:

Those who have never met Bobby have missed out on a very unique person. Bobby
was a very decent man who loved his family and adored his children. I grew up on Grand St. with Bobby. Bobby was one of the funniest people I knew. Bobby was
always there to lend a helping hand. I’m proud to tell my children that I once knew a Hero Firefighter named Bobby Foti.

Joseph Guzzo:

Bobby looked to enjoy his life and to spread happiness whenever he could. He was
sharing and giving to friends and strangers alike. He played with his children, and gave them many memories which are sure to carry them through the rest of
their lives. As a firefighter, Bobby was no stranger to helping people in trouble. I remember days when he and his good friend Jimmy helped pull struggling swimmers out of a riptide that threatened to pull them out to sea. Everyone knew Bobby. He was always talking to people. Never shy, he would turn to a new face just as likely as to an old friend. If there was a sudden burst of laughter, Bobby was probably nearby instigating it. One of my best memories of Bobby was an episode of him and his brother Joe clowning around. I can’t clearly recall how it started, but I suspect Bobby was nudging his brother without respite. Joe jumped up and started to chase his big brother across the beach. In a wild lunge, Joe grabbed for Bobby, but only succeeded in grasping the leg of his bathing suit. Well, picture Bobby being dragged to a halt by the bottom edge of his suit. Gravity and Joe’s weight dragged the suit down a lot faster than it did to the rest of Bobby. Everyone on the beach got to see more of Bobby than they expected. Afterward, Bobby sheepishly returned to the group. He was a little bit red-faced, and still laughing about the whole thing. That was Bobby! He always made the most out of whatever life tossed his way. Events have conspired to take Bobby from our presence, but nothing can take the memories of his life among us. No act of man can eradicate the fact that he lives on in his three children.When one looks at their faces, it is easy to see that Bobby lives on in each of them.

Peggy Cunneen:

The void in our lives seems so much greater because of who Bob was. You always knew when Bob was in a room. He was blessed with such great looks and his charismatic personality. After the first day of school last year, he was the only one who knew everyone's name. At the end of the first week his firehouse was building us new bookcases. Anything that needed to be done that year Bob took care of it.

Finally, read this tribute - a poem written for Bobby Foti by Ellen Brennemen:

Don't think of him as gone away-- his journey's just begun
Life holds so many facets --this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting from the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort where there are nodays and years.

Think how he must be wishing that we could know today

How nothing but our sadness can really pass away.

And think of him as living in the hearts of those he touched...

For nothing loved is ever lost-- and he was loved so much.

Refer to this website for more information about the 2996 project and for links to other blogging tributes.

No Ordinary Joes by Larry Colton

No Ordinary Joes: The Extraordinary True Story of Four Submariners in War and Love and Life by Larry Colton
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This highly-interesting non-fiction book is an enlightening look into the individual battles fought during World War II. The story was presented in a bow-tie formation. The author introduced each of the sailors individually, giving his entire background story - childhood, interests, family relationships, early adolescent experiences, and first assignments in the navy. This introduction took about 13 chapters. After the characters were well-developed, the story narrowed to the events that brought the sailors together.

The narrow knot of the bowtie showed us how the men knew each other as crew members of the same submarine. Of course this is the part of the story that caused the story to be written. The experiences these young men (ages 17-23 at the time) endured as prisoners of war, were horrifying. I hung on every word as the author showed their physical and emotional degradation and their incredible strength as they lent support and comfort to each other.

After the central events of the war were told, the author widened the story again in the other side of the bowtie. He followed each man's life after they were freed when the war ended. This enlightening follow-up story showed the reader some of the long-term positive as well as negative results of such harrowing experiences as these men suffered in early adulthood. It was interesting to me to see the changes in the individual personalities as the men aged; however, it was also clearly shown that many of their early characteristics were intensified rather than changed by the experience. The men were shown as 80-year-old grandfathers at the end of the book.

View all my reviews

The Real America

As I have mentioned numerous times on this blog, I am blessed to have been born into an amazing family. Each of my siblings has unique talents and intellect. My one older sister is a professional writer and speaker. She published an article this week detailing lessons learned (or relearned)and general observations made at her recent high school reunion. Here are a couple of what would be called "sound bites" if this were presented orally. And here is the link to the entire article.

Marriage is Still a Central Feature of Mainstream America: A clear majority of those attending the reunion were married within five years of graduating from high school and remain married to that original spouse – 42 of us......

This next clip is encouraging to me as an educator.

High School Teachers can have a “Profound and Continuing Influence": Several classmates expressed gratitude and appreciation to specific teachers. A couple of classmates wrote that their lives were profoundly influenced by certain teachers......

And this part should be encouraging to anyone who is exposed to the constant denigration of patriotism by our MSM.

Patriotism is Still Deeply Ingrained and Integral to Our Identity: The opening prayer by our Senior Class president was beautifully crafted and included prayers for our President and other national leaders as well as prayers for those serving our country in the military.

Faith is Vital for Successfully Handling Life: Reunions always highlight the truth that life is hard. ..... Numerous classmates mentioned the sustaining power of their faith and the support that comes from their involvement in a church community.

This remnant of a high school graduating class from years ago represents, IMHO, the "real America". Janice says that:

These are the people who take in foster kids that nobody else will take, who spend weekends helping clean up after Hurricane Katrina, who take in a grandchild who needs special care, who assist with anything electronic, who are involved in MS or Parkinson’s Support Groups.....who raise money for charitable organizations, whose suggestions improve Social Security handling and processing, who travel to the poorest coal mining villages to bring supplies and medical care, who coach Little League....

The article ends with a retelling of their experience at the airport on their return trip home. All the travelers there stood and applauded while a group of our soldiers walked through the airport to leave their families, board a plane and travel to foreign soil to support our great country.

This proud sister's summary cannot do Jan's article justice. Go there and read the entire article.

National Day of Prayer 2007

Today is the National Day of Prayer

"Millions will answer the call to prayer on May 3, the 56th annual National Day of Prayer, by flocking to observances held in public venues to pray for the nation, governmental leaders, media, churches, families, and schools." —from the NDOP's official website

As American troops fight for freedom and battle the war on terror, citizens of the United States are preparing to celebrate their freedom to gather, worship, and pray. The National Day of Prayer is an annual event in which millions of American unite to pray for our country and leaders. Wherever you live, there will be persons of faith gathered today at city hall to pray. Why don't you join them? I will be at my city hall from 12:20-12:40 today praying with others for our country.

The Bible says: "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)

Pass It On - a Parental Responsibility

An interesting quote from Blueprint of an Eden byMichele Oka Doner and Mitchell Wolfson, Jr., Miami Beach: Feierabend, 2005, p. 120. (another book excerpt from Delancey Place.)

Mitchell Wolfson, Sr., successful businessman, leader in the Jewish community, and former mayor of Miami Beach, writes to his three children in 1943 on the eve of his departure for armed service in World War II. His son, Mitchell, Jr., later both carried forward his legacy in business and founded of the Wolfsonian Museum in Miami Beach in Florida, and Nervi, Italy:

"I am addressing this letter to you, my dear children, because if something should happen to me, I want to leave a message for you, which I hope you will carry in your heart and in your conscience all your lives. ...

I was very happy and proud to be granted the opportunity to serve our country. All of us should thank God each night that we have a country to serve. I only hope and pray that all of you will have the same opportunities and privileges that your mother, I, and all free Americans have had for so many years.

My supreme sacrifice, if it should be, is to set an example for you, so that you may always prove worthy of your obligations and duties, and it will not be in vain, if you make yourselves a credit to our people, as I have always tried to do.

We have always conducted our business in an ethical manner with the thought uppermost in my mind that 'He profits most who serves best.' Also, we have never invested in or leased any real estate of ours to liquor establishments, or pawn brokers. Grandfather Wolfson established this custom. I continued it, and I hope you will. I have no objections to people who care to engage in this business, but I do not believe the profits from this business could ever morally justify your engaging directly or indirectly in this type of business.

Be fair to your employees, associates and to the public. Insist on what is just and right for yourselves, but also grant the same justice to others. "