Letter to Mother, Ruth Shaw, 2013

 I recently found a letter I wrote to Mother on her birthday in February of 2013 (thirteen years ago as I write this preface - 3 ½ years after her death.) I want to preserve it here. 

Dear Mother,

In the book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom wrote, “Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them - a mother’s approval, a father’s nod - are covered by moments of their own accomplishments. It is not until much later, as the skin sags and the heart weakens, that children understand; their stories, and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their lives.”

As Mr. Albom said, now that my skin is sagging and my heart is likely weakening, I am beginning to much more fully understand that any life accomplishments that I might claim are simply stories resting firmly upon yours and Daddy’s stories. These are the stones upon the stones beneath the waters of my life — all those skills and concepts I didn’t realize I was learning and all those life experiences that I never knew I’d be so grateful for.

Thank you, Mother, for the guidance you and Daddy have provided me throughout my life. Martin Luther once said, “In the midst of affliction, God counsels, strengthens, confirms, nourishes, and favors us. In the same manner parents ought to handle their children.” You have always counseled, strengthened, confirmed, nourished, and favored me as Luther advised - and as God does.

Most of all, Mother, thank you for your unconditional love. That love was the cornerstone of my childhood and continues to ground me in my adulthood. It has been given to me every day for a lifetime - and I have accepted this gift as naturally as I have accepted the colorful rain of leaves in Autumn and the perky Jonquils in the Spring. You have always lovingly listened to me when I needed to talk, and you have always lovingly talked to me when I needed to listen. What an empowering thing it is to be the recipient of such unconditional love! Thank you for knowledge of the power of love that I gained through all those wonderful years when I was growing up, being loved, and cherished, and honored as a unique child of God.

Thank you, Mother, and Happy Birthday. I love you. Joan

Noel by J.R.R. Tolkien

I've never been a Tolkien fan. The Hobbit and all the related books just never appealed to me at all. I was totally taken by surprise recently to discover that Tolkien also wrote a beautiful Christmas poem that was basically unknown and "lost" until 2013. It had been published 1936 in an obscure literary publication, received little notice at the time and receded into oblivion, not coming to light even after Tolkien's death in 1973. I regret not ever having heard Noel by Tolkien. It is written in a traditional ballad form with a regular rhythm and rhyme, a feature that I strongly prefer in poetry. It has a strong metre of alternating 8 beats and 6 beats per line, with regular rhyme, plenty of imagery, and poetic devices like alliteration that appeal to the ear. It is 5 stanzas of 8 lines each and is a beautiful tribute to the amazing salvation brought to the weary world in the birth of Jesus. Although it was republished in September of this year, it is not very easily found with Google yet, and I have copied it into my blog for my own convenience.

Noel

by J.R.R. Tolkien

Grim was the world and grey last night:
The moon and stars were fled,
The hall was dark without song or light,
The fires were fallen dead.
The wind in the trees was like to the sea,
And over the mountains’ teeth
It whistled bitter-cold and free,
As a sword leapt from its sheath.

The lord of snows upreared his head;
His mantle long and pale
Upon the bitter blast was spread
And hung o’er hill and dale.
The world was blind,
the boughs were bent,
All ways and paths were wild:
Then the veil of cloud apart was rent,
And here was born a Child.

The ancient dome of heaven sheer
Was pricked with distant light;
A star came shining white and clear
Alone above the night.
In the dale of dark in that hour of birth
One voice on a sudden sang:
Then all the bells in Heaven and Earth
Together at midnight rang.

Mary sang in this world below:
They heard her song arise
O’er mist and over mountain snow
To the walls of Paradise,
And the tongue of many bells was stirred
in Heaven’s towers to ring
When the voice of mortal maid was heard,
That was mother of Heaven’s King.

Glad is the world and fair this night
With stars about its head,
And the hall is filled with laughter and light,
And fires are burning red.
The bells of Paradise now ring
With bells of Christendom,
And Gloria, Gloria we will sing
That God on earth is come.

The Love and the Gift of Christmas

Christmas is so often misunderstood in our society. People, even those in the church, sing about JOY and GIFTS without realizing what true joy is or what the real gift of Christmas is. In this morning's readings, I read this truth. #TruthMatters

"authentic joy ...fills the heart freed from sin. Sin carries a sadness with it that leads us to close ourselves up within ourselves. Grace brings with it the true joy that does not depend on having things but is rather rooted in the most intimate, deepest part of the person, and that nothing and nobody can take away...Christianity is the proclamation of the victory of grace over sin, of life over death. . . .It is necessary therefore to learn to say no to the voice of egoism and to say yes to the voice of authentic love." Peter M.J. Stravinskas

So the JOY of Christmas is the freedom to be truly ourselves without the burden of sin - this freedom is ours because of the GIFT of God's grace in providing us a way out of our sin and the heaviness it has put into our lives. I hope and pray that each of us will truly receive the GIFT of God's grace into our lives so that we can experience the true JOY of the season.

Ready for Christmas?

 The 12th poem of 2022 in the writing group, Deadlines for Writers, is due today. The prompt was "centre."  Here is the poem I submitted, finishing my fourth year. 

Ready for Christmas?

Can you forget the favors you have done

And ponder just the blessings you’ve received?

Can you forgo the credit due to you

And celebrate what others have achieved?

 

Can you forget that someone did you wrong

And love that “someone” as a child of God?

Admitting you have sometimes been at fault -

Not blameless – just a human, fully flawed?

 

Can you trust and know that love will win the day

And work for hate and evil to subside?

Can you nurture seeds of happiness and joy,

And in God’s love and peace each day abide?

 

If so, you’ll know that Christmas time is here.

The Light has come – a new and glorious morn!

The love of God is centered in your heart.

 Go out and live the joy that Christ is born!

Halloween

Who else remembers when Halloween was a two- or three-hour holiday? Kids might have thought about it a few days before, but adults never gave it a thought ahead of time. Perhaps the day before (or after school - a regular school day - on Halloween day) Mama'd say, "Tonight you get to go trick-or-treating; what do want to dress up as? We could smudge your face and tie a hanky onto the end of a stick so you can be a hobo. Or we could put a scarf around your head and let you wear one of my dresses and some big loop earrings so you could be a gypsy. How about we make a eye-patch and make you into a pirate?" After supper, which was just a normal day's activity, we'd put on our "costume", Mama'd say, something like, "Don't go any farther than Elm Street and be back in an hour or so."

We'd take off with a group of our friends and go door to door on a couple of streets, gathering a few treats in some kind of small container. We'd come home and dump our treats (a few apples, some small boxes of raisins, maybe a popcorn ball made by some childless lady who had time to think and plan ahead, and a few pieces of homemade or occasionally commercially-made candy or cookies.) We were thrilled with the rare opportunity to have a choice of sweets - and not just after a meal; and life went on.

Halloween was celebrated in a few hours from start to finish, nobody went broke buying costumes and candy, it was a blip on the screen for most adults, and kids enjoyed a couple of hours with friends and few days' worth of edible treats to look forward to.

Respect and Civility in Blogging and in Life

I read a post at Blue Star Chronicles this morning. It pushed my buttons and required a response. BSC’s owner is currently out of the country for her soldier son’s wedding (Happy Wedding Day, Joshua and Michaela!) In Beth's absence, Pick Up the Pen’s author, Ed, crossposted on his site and on BSC a good discussion of civility, blogging, and Christmas.

In case you don’t have time or the inclination to go to one of these good spots to read the entire dissertation, here are a few edited and condensed nuggets containing the essence of the sentiment.

In this world it is hard to express an opinion without drawing the fire of someone who disagrees, and very often that disagreement is expressed bluntly by a hateful attack upon the writer - rants of screaming derision, slander, pomposity and arrogance, hateful attitudes that are all way too common in today’s world. Apparently the weapon of choice for these intellects is the blunt instrument of hot, turgid rhetoric.

When did we lose the ability to have a civil conversation of disagreement? Today there is little requirement for politeness, no respect for the opinions of strangers. Civility, which used to be the presumption, is on a losing streak. If we are to regain our civility, we must, as a species and as a society, learn to tolerate our differences. Toleration is not the same as liking something or agreeing with everybody. It is simply toleration. It is living with an idea that you might not choose to think or an action that you might not take yourself. Toleration does not mean anarchy or lawlessness, but rather it is the hallmark of a civil society. Civil society demands politeness, kindness and respect in all things. Face to face it is so much easier to be friendly, but behind the anonymity of the internet it is so much easier to not be civil and friendly. When looking someone in the eye it is much harder to differentiate, to hate, to accuse, to belittle, and to defame him.

Taking the high road always means a climb uphill, but the view is superior. So while you are out shopping this Christmas season listening to the carols or enjoying the company of officemates, or friends and family, even a stranger for that matter look into their eyes and pay attention to what you see.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve! And Happy Winter Solstice today!

Early Thanksgiving

I will be out of the country on Thanksgiving this year; we are leaving later today. I have enjoyed and benefitted from writing a Thanksgiving meditation most Novembers for the last twenty years; but since my writing time for the next two weeks will revolve around documenting and reviewing new travel destinations, I decided to re-post the Thanksgiving meditation I wrote for Thanksgiving 2006. With renewed gratitude, I realize that I am still so very blessed.

I give thanks --

• For the unconditional love of family. It provides me with the security to discover who and what I am and who and what I can become.
• For the gift of time. Each hour of each day and night offers new opportunity for me to reach out, take, give, be, and grow.
• For the beauty of the Earth. It encourages my heart and rescues me from the tedium of daily life.
• For the full use of my senses. The ability to see, touch, taste, smell, and hear allows me to become one with God’s creation.
• For my community of faith. Through the Christian church the noble, unselfish, and servant nature of humanity finds voice as we support each other in the quest for meaning and purpose in life and opportunities to contribute to the betterment of society and the building of the Kingdom of God here on the Earth.
• For my freedoms: I have freedom for living given me by my God. It is only through Him that the unselfish, tender, and noble parts of me can withstand the onslaught of the self-serving and callous nature struggling to emerge from within. I have freedom for living given me by my country. It was founded on the principal that all of us are created equal, and I can express beliefs and live as my own conscience dictates. I have freedom for living given me by my family and friends. Because they love me, they accept the unlovely parts of me and support me when I face adversity so that I can emerge on the other side of the conflict a stronger and more deserving creature.
• For my heritage. The long line of love and commitment goes back generations – the love for God and the respect for others and self that I learned by example.
• For those whose lives have intersected with and impacted mine. From the aunts and uncles of my childhood, to colleagues of bygone years, to eager students, to fellow worshippers, to thoughtful bloggers – they have all had a part in making me who I am.
• For those whose lives I have been able to touch. I have seen: the visible light when a student finally succeeds in a difficult task or understands a complex concept, the smile flashed when another person hears his/her worth affirmed, the comfort found by sharing a common interest, concern, or grief.
• For a searching mind and spirit. Life-long learning allows me to live many lives in one.
• For communication. How lonely the road would be could we not share thoughts, ideas, and beliefs with others.
• For a comfortable home and adequate food.
• For a modicum of financial security. My life need not revolve around meeting basic needs. Free of this burden, I can fly.

Father's Day 2007 - About my Father

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about fathers in general and my father in particular: 1….Clarence Budington Kelland said: "He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." I like this quote because it tells a lot about my father. I am blessed because I had a father who showed his children how to live. Because he truly loved people and wanted the best for others just as he wanted it for his own family, I learned that all God's children are important and unique -- that each person has a purpose and value and a need to be respected and loved. Our family seldom celebrated a holiday without a visitor, usually a person who would have been alone for the day except that my father invited him to spend the day with us. My father went out at all hours of the day or night when someone in need called and asked for help, or when he became aware by some other means that there was a need in a family of our acquaintace. By his life, his children learned how to treat other people. 2....William Penn said: "He who is taught to live upon little owes more to his father's wisdom than he who has a great deal left him does to his father's care." We did live upon little in my childhood (little financial resources that is!). Our home was filled to abundance, however, with love, respect, happiness, sharing, explanations, concern, teaching, and responsibility. Our parents' wisdom gave us a true appreciation for material blessings as well as for academic and spiritual enrichment. Our dad taught us how to take care of ourselves and provide for our own needs and wants instead of just giving us "stuff." 3.... T. S. Eliot said: "Those who trust us educate us." My father educated each of his children by letting us know that he trusted us to make mature and responsible choices and decisions. 4....I have enjoyed this anonymous quote several times in the past. I am so sorry that I now fit into that last category. 4 years: My Daddy can do anything! 7 years: My Dad knows a lot…a whole lot. 8 years: My father does not know quite everything. 12 years: Oh well, naturally Father does not know that either.14 years: Oh, Father? He is hopelessly old-fashioned. 21 years: Oh, that man-he is out of date! 25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much. 30 years: I must find out what Dad thinks about it. 35 years: Before we decide, we will get Dad's idea first.50 years: What would Dad have thought about that? 60 years: My Dad knew literally everything! 65 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more. 5... My father was a role model. Many people don't really understand that term nowadays. A role model shows how to perform a particular role in life. My father modeled the role of: a genuine person; a Christian; a parent; a responsible citizen; a good listener; a grandparent. These are some of the important life roles I learned to play be observing how he played them. 6....When I picture my father, who has been in Heaven now for 20 years, as he was on Earth, I almost always see him holding a child or bending to talk to a child. 7.... One of the sounds I miss most from my childhood and early adulthood is my father's laugh - genuine, ready, unrestrained, and joyful. 8.... I miss the touch of his hand stroking my forehead and smoothing my hair back from my face -- one of his favorite expressions of love and concern. 9.... One of the joys of my life is that my husband of 44 years loved my father as much as I did. My father so totally accepted the role of father to the spouses of his children, that there was virtually no difference in feeling, thought, or action. Not only did my husband love my father, but my father totally loved my husband as his son. There was no "in-lawness" to their relationship. 10.... I love my father's flashy, confident, and hurried handwriting. I well-up in tears when I see old documents containing his handwriting. 11.... My father loved "gadgets". I often think of how much he would have loved computers, blackberries, cellphones, ipods! 12.... My father loved and cherished children, made them feel special and important, and yet he didn't spoil them or make them feel like objects to entertain adults. This is a rare ablility. Each of his children and grandchildren felt a particular bond with him because they knew that he saw and valued the qualities that made each one a unique individual. 13.... After twenty years, I miss my Daddy. I wish I could just have one more good conversation with him, share one more laugh, get one more piece of advice, show him my grandchildren, tell him again how much I love, appreciate, and miss him. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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