Gun Control

I'm tired of hearing "gun control, gun control, gun control!" Day after day after day. It's time somebody started a grassroots campaign for knife control! I read that a huge number of people were stabbed to death in 2015.  

How about a group to demonstrate for rope control or hand control to stop all those strangling murders? Let's confiscate all the baseball bats, golf clubs, tree limbs, fireplace pokers, heavy statues, chairs, etc., etc. All those things can be used to beat someone to death. Let's make laws that no one can form his/her hands into a fist which COULD be used to beat someone to death. 

We need to shut down the pharmaceutical industry so their products can't be used to poison people! Just let your motors freeze up in the winter, people; anti-freeze is being used to kill people! And switch to riding bicycles, since people are dying from being assaulted on the roadways by cars and trucks. 

We probably should restrict the amount of water that can be gathered in one place (rivers, streams, pools, lakes, oceans, bathtubs) - after all, people are being drowned by their enemies every year! 

Oh, and let's not forget about those dangerous pillows that are in almost every home in America. Burn them all before someone uses one to smother another person - possibly even a young child! 

Just think. With all the money we'll save by not buying medicines, antifreeze, cars, bats, golf clubs, etc, we can fully fund Planned Parenthood to kill more unborn citizens next year!