Friday, March 23, 2007

HUH??? Dumb Signs (or Dumb Signmakers)

A few of the best signs found at This is about half of the list titled "Actual Signs We Have Seen." Many of the signs were intentionally cute. I like the ones that were unintentionally funny.
1.... A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands. (this reminds me of bank policy that only gives loans to those who can prove they don't need the money.)
2.... At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.

3.... At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container. (It might be a little hard to drive the newly-gassed-up car from your glass container!)

4.... English Sign in German Cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands Before Eating.

5.... In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. (Shoes need an advocate to demonstrate for their right to choose!)

6.... In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.

7.... In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.

8.... In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.

9.... In a hotel during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is day care on the first floor.

10.... In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. (Thank goodness we don't have to remove them while the lights are still on and other customers can gawk!)

11.... In a Los Angeles clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks. (Those poor guys with only 15 necks are out of luck today.)

12.... In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.

13.... In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center (who knows what could happen if Mental Health becomes widespread.)

14.... In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

15.... In a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car

16.... In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: 15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last long! (Finally - a manufacturer willing to tell it like it is.)

17.... In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. (Hey, I was IN this restroom last week, before I got there someone had already used the floor below .)

18.... In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. (I want to be there after tea break with my camera in hand to record this feat.)

19.... In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.

20.... On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship. (Well, here we have another honest merchant!)

21.... On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)

22.... On a roller coaster: Watch your head.

23.... On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

24.... On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store: Thirty-eight years on the same spot. (Must have been dribbled spaghetti sauce!)

25.... On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card: If you cannot read this card...

26.... On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: No trespassing without permission.

27.... On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: Blackened bluefish (I hope this is better than the whitened grayfish they served last week!)

28.... Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome. (Exclusive is an interesting word, isn't it?)

29.... Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1. (I don't mind self-service checkout lines or self-pump gasoline, but I believe I'll go for the prepackaged here!)

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