Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Sophisticated Proverbs

At formal occasions I am always surprised at how well some folks "clean up." A little make-up, some shiny jewelry, a slinky dress and colored fingernails almost make some ladies unrecognizable. Likewise, a tuxedo, bow tie, and fresh haircut make a prince out of a lumberjack.

All of us are familiar with the everyday version of the proverb "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." But would you recognize this well-known saying if it walked into the party all dressed up in its Sunday best? Here she is: "Never subject a presented quadruped of the Equus caballus family to detailed inspection of its oral cavity."

How about these?

  1. A culinary utensil under constant visual supervision never reaches a temperature of 212 degrees.
  2. Plumaged bipeds of the same species have a pattern of congregating in exclusive assemblies.
  3. A simpleton and his collateral are eftsoon estranged.
  4. One feathered biped in the terminal prehensile part of one's arm is equal to twice that many in shrubby vegetation.
  5. Accelerated execution produces faulty results.
  6. A superfluity of people engaged in the preparation of food can do profound damage to the liquid from boiled meat.
  7. Garner the centimes and the larger monetary units will supervise their own welfare.
  8. Liquid atmospheric precipitation is seldom moderate but invariably excessive.

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