Monday, February 06, 2006

He Might be Husband Material if...

I read a post this morning over at Collecting My Thoughts that began to firm up an idea I had been pushing around in my head. Norma posted tips for "How Not to Marry a Jerk." Norma said, "Mind you, I've never been married to a jerk, but I know a few people who have, and the signs were like billboards down that road to the church."
I had already planned to write some dating/relationship/marriage advice, so this post gave me a push. I am taking the Jeff Foxworthy (another Georgian, by the way) approach to the topic: "You know he/she might be spouse-material if...." (For the sake of brevity and clarity, I will use the masculine noun and pronoun. It would apply just as aptly with the feminine one.) The following are just some of the signposts that I believe point to possible husband material:

He Might Be Husband-Material if....

....he sometimes has to miss being with you to go to "a family thing"
....he wants his parents, friends, and children to meet you.
....he readily shares information about his background and family.
....he respects and encourages your relationship with your parents, siblings, children, and friends.

....he pays his child support (and/or meets whatever financial obligations he has.)
....he is gainfully employed or ACTIVELY seeking work.
....he is a careful spender, refraining from over-using credit cards.
....he doesn't borrow money from you or always expect you to pick up the tab.

....he is modest about his skills, accomplishments, business contacts -- doesn't exaggerate his "importance."
....he compliments you in front of others and NEVER makes fun of you, even in jest.
....he is record-free as far as the law is concerned (or at least honest with you about past problems.)
....he is gentle with children, animals, old people, AND WITH YOU.
....he is a controlled and rational driver, sports participant, and game-player.
....he remains reasonably rational even when he is angry.
....his faith and values closely resemble your own.
....he respects your religious/moral beliefs and wants to work out with you a mutually-acceptable tradition for expressing beliefs.

If you are single and looking for a relationship, remember that a BAD relationship is FAR worse than being alone!! Look for signs that this person has qualities that you will be happy to reflect (You will be viewed by others as "one" when you establish a "couple" relationship with this person. In other people's eyes, his strengths are your assets too and his weaknesses reflect on you as well.)

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