A Mother's Journey

A Mother’s Journey

Joan Shaw Turrentine

A mere shadow of the mother I have been,

I gaze at the sunset pinks, purples, and golds

Lighting the horizon at the end of day.

And I see, in the setting of the sun,

A precious promise of a sunrise yet to appear.

Tomorrow will be born of its mother, Today.

Comforted and lost in the beauty of the skies, I remember…

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A guileless youth of 22 boldly sets sail on the Matriarchal Sea.

In ignorant bliss, I embrace the new me – Mother!

Bottles, diapers, carseats, teddy bears.

“Do I need to call the doctor?”

“Mommy, watch!”

Each day, a life unto itself, crawls by.

Some are heavy, striving for balance;

Some are Disneyesque, beaming thrill and awe.

Each is too brief for the demands of the day.

Each is rich with lessons - learned and taught.

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Sunrises come; sunsets go; life moves on.

A vigorous mom, now 30, sails into an unfamiliar cove.

With cautious enthusiasm, I embrace the new me – Grade Mother!

Little League games; teacher conferences.

Homework; science fairs.

Shoes outgrown; haircuts mourned.

 “Get ready for school. You’ll be late!”

 “What can I make for dinner?”

Endless days; sleepless nights; relentless responsibility.

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Sunrises come; sunsets go; life moves on.

A seasoned mom, now 40, fights stormy seas and driving rain.

In hesitant awe, I embrace the new me – Mom of a Teen.

Breasts bloom, body hair sprouts.

Long showers, BFFs, Curfews, Driver’s Licenses.

School colors, corsages, grade point averages.

SATs; college applications; mounting debt.

Endless days; sleepless nights; relentless responsibility.

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Sunrises come; sunsets go; life moves on.

A matronly mom, now 45, sails uncharted waters.

In disbelief, I embrace the new me – Mother-in-Law!

“Mom, I’d like you to meet Rick.”

Wedding showers, reception flowers.

Table settings; Thank you notes.

This strong young man is now my child.

How is this mothering done?

Moving out, moving on,

Their new ship sails far from my shore.

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Sunrises come; sunsets go; life moves on.

An aging matron, now 50, sails, full steam ahead,

 Into a vast expanse of sparkling, turqoise sea.

In billowing love, tempered with restraint,

I embrace the new me – Grandmother!

My heart strains to hold the awe.

Child of my child! Heart of my heart!

Quiet cuddles; Late night calls.

 “That’s up to your mom.”

“Gram, were you a little girl?”

Senior discounts; second-row seating.

The Circle of Life is closing.

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Sunrises come; sunsets go; life moves on.

A senescent grandmother, now 78, stands ashore,

 Stretching to hold the disappearing sails of tomorrow’s ships

Within her vision.

A mere shadow of the mother I have been,

I gaze into the shimmering sunset sky --

Remembering.

The long, long days of motherhood, from this shore,

Seem but one ephemeral moment of love,

A single blink of the eye of God.