The Cowboy's Cowboy

 In 2014, my granddaughter, Natalie, had an assignment to write a poem related to "the Wild West" since her class was planning a field trip to Booth Western Art Museum in Cartersville, GA. Teachers from around the region would choose a few of the best poems from their students to enter in a contest. The winners from each school would read their poems at the museum on the day of the proposed field trip. 

Natalie had not previously written poetry and mentioned her anxiety over the assignment to me. When my grandchildren were in public school, I had made it a habit to read whatever literature they were assigned to read and keep up with their school progress in other ways, so one day I sat down to think about what could be written related to "the Wild West." I had in mind sending her a few ideas to help her get started.

I wrote a very rough first-draft light-verse poem about "'ol Hank." A couple of days before Natalie's poem was due, she told me she had not come up with anything, so I sent her that rough draft as a starting point to help her get started writing. That was probably not as good an idea as it sounded to us at the time. Instead of igniting a new idea in her, it seemed to confine her to just adapting the poem I had started. Deadline came too quickly, and she just turned in the poem that we had more-or-less cowritten. Of course, it won!

She was now locked into reading it aloud at the district Western Art assembly. It has bothered both of us ever since. She felt like she had cheated by turning in a poem she saw as mostly mine. I felt guilty because she felt like I helped her cheat and because she didn't see the final poem as truly hers. I also felt bad that I had apparently caused her to doubt her own ability and integrity. This incident became an embarrassment to both of us over the years, and the poem was mostly forgotten/unmentioned/hidden. 

I recently found an old copy. At this point neither of us is sure how much either of us had to do with this version or even it this is the final copy that was entered in the contest. Neither of us has felt comfortable claiming authorship. But I think it's a cute poem, so here is the, I guess, cowritten poem about 'ol Hank. 

Ol’ Hank was a cowboy’s cowboy –

That feller knew how to live.

Any case that came along,

Hank had advice to give.

 

Now, he warn’t no shoddy blowhard;

He didn’t talk no bosh.

But when he’d meet a greenhorn,

He’d fill their ears, by gosh!

 

“Hey, Dude!  Hey, City Slicker,”

Ol’ Hank was known to shout.

“You’re all hat and no cattle -

That’s not what cowboyin’s all about!

 

Now, being a real true cowboy

Takes a bigger man than you.

If you don’t wanna get your plow cleaned,

Here’s what you gotta do.

 

Don’t never squat with your spurs on.

Don’t drive black cattle when it’s dark outside.

Don’t dig for water near the outhouse;

Don’t get in the saddle ‘less you’re ready to ride.”

2014 by Natalie Davis (Akins) (with Joan Turrentine)

Living Christmas

 Avondale-Patillo United Methodist Church was preparing a booklet of daily devotions for the Advent season in 1991. I was asked to write one. I wrote this one, but they chose not to use it. I figured that it was because I mentioned Caitlin’s impending birth; and after she was stillborn, they made that decision. They didn’t ask me; that was just a choice somebody made, with good intentions I am sure, to avoid potential additional pain.

 

Living Christmas

Scripture reading: Luke 1:26 through 22:52

The Christmas season this year finds me more aware than usual of the anticipation involved in the biblical account of the birth of Jesus. As we anticipate the birth of our first grandchild and see our daughter-in-law becoming “great with child” during this advent season I’ve begun to wonder about the feelings, thoughts, and responsibilities of the earthly family of the savior as they looked forward to his birth. How did they respond to so great a joy and responsibility? The biblical record gives us a few clues to answer these wanderings. What clues we have center almost entirely on the feelings, thoughts, and responsibilities of Mary, the mother of Jesus (and to a somewhat lesser degree Joseph, his earthly father.) Through rereading the story of Christ’s birth and focusing on Mary and Joseph's character and responses to life, I find some suggestions about how any person might experience the birth, and therefore the life, of Jesus today.

 

We know that Mary had faith that God knew what was best and would provide strength and wisdom to those who follow his will. Mary first reacted to the knowledge that she had been chosen to bear the son of God by questioning. However, that questioning was followed immediately by acceptance of God's will. In Luke 1:38, Mary says, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be to me according to your word.”

Joseph also was willing to accept God's word and will for his life. In Matthew 1:24, after the angel of the Lord told joseph that he should not be afraid to take Mary as his wife, the scripture says, “He did as the angel of the Lord commanded him. He took his wife.”

Lord, help me to have faith to live by your will in my life.

The Bible shows us that Mary and Joseph were true to the divine trust that was given to them. They provided physical care for God's son. By providing food, nurture, and training, they brought the child Jesus to full manhood.

Mary and Joseph were thoughtful and deeply spiritual parents who provided spiritual leadership for their children. The Bible tells us that Mary “pondered all these things in her heart.” Some of the most beautiful scripture we have is what is called The Magnificat, found in Luke 2;46-55. In this passage Mary expresses her feelings about this responsibility. She expresses awe, and wonder, and obedience, and gratefulness, and joy. The wisdom and spiritual discernment of Mary and Joseph was further shown in the circumcision of her Son, his presentation at the temple, and Mary's own purification 40 days after the birth. Through the years, they made the customary returns to the temple for sacrifices and worship. Every parent who gives birth to a child has received a trust from God and will someday give an account of his/her stewardship. Each of us has an area of responsibility for which he/she will be held accountable.

Lord, help me be true to the trust that you have given to me.

Jesus came to bring peace on earth. Those of us who are seeking peace in this advent season would do well to follow the example that Mary and Joseph gave us as they prepared for Jesus’s advent into the world:

·         have faith to live by god's will for our lives and

·         be true to the trust he has given us.

And this way, perhaps we can truly be prepared for the advent of Jesus in our lives.

 

To Caitlin

 In 1991, our first grandchild was stillborn. I wrote this poem. In October 2023, I found the old writing notebook in which I'd written the remembrance. 

To Caitlin

 

Did our love for you begin at the moment you emerged from your mother's body? No. Birth is not the beginning of life, and birth is not the beginning of love. A baby is in the truest sense made-up of love not only the love of parents but also the love of God and the family support system he ordained. We knew just before your birth that your life had ended and that we would have no opportunity to know you in this life.

As we entered the birthing room, we saw your mother holding your tiny little body so lovingly and your daddy, our son, looking at you with such love and tragedy in his eyes. You looked so natural and right with your parents whose love had created you. The love you shared as a family were so clear.

At that moment we realized that we, too, had long loved you. We held you, tiny and still, in our arms just long enough to say hello and goodbye. We never saw you breathe, never heard you cry, never saw your eyes. We grieved for the loss of your fugture - that you would never come to visit grandmother and granddaddy, never ride a merry-o-round, never see a Christmas tree, never…

The love, the loss, the loneliness was immeasurable. Only God can know how much you are loved. Even though you lived your brief little life hidden away inside your mother, you knew that we loved you.

 

1991

Rachael - First Grandbaby - And the Beat Goes On

Yesterday I found a writing folder from 1992. You might recall that this was before computer use was common and before the internet was fully developed. In this folder, I found a letter I had handwritten (carefully using only every other line so I'd have room to revise) to our newborn granddaughter. Rachael was born 13 months after her older sister, Caitlin, was stillborn. Here is that letter and a poem I wrote a year later. I had to restrain myself from my tendency to continue editing, but I have typed here just what was written there.  

You came into our lives on an icy December day, bringing sunshine, hope, and wonder. I gazed upon your perfect features and marveled to see your daddy's eyes looking back at me from your delicate newborn face. A replica of your mother's dainty lips pursed in thought. 

While I stood peering - acutely aware of your origins in the past, I was overcome with the knowledge that your are also the embodiment of the future - our hopes and dreams - our immortality. In you, we see, not only you, but also our own influence continuing into the generations yet to be. You are potential. All of life is before you. You can avoid the mistakes and faults that have marred our lives. You are free to develop YOUR personality and talents - free to become YOUR best.

I wish you, Darling Rachael, a childhood that provides security and happiness, and a sense of your self-worth. Along with these blessings, I wish for you the knowledge that as you mature, these privileges bring with them the responsibilities of right living. I wish for you (1) an understanding that there is a purpose for your life and (2) a desire to find and fulfill that purpose. For, in realizing that desire, you will find lifelong happiness. 

My notes ended there, unedited. A few page further on, I found this acrostic poem.

Rachael - Age 1

Reaching - in, out, up

Adding to the beauty in life, in others, in the world

Curious

Happy

Aware of no hate malice, envy

Energetic

Loving

Advice (from an 80-something) for Teens and Young Adults

 My sister, Carol Johnston, very generously gave each of her siblings a one-year subscription of Storyworth; so I have been trying to write my memories there. I just finished writing a verry time- and energy-consuming first draft of a chapter about advice for young folks. I will probably add to it before the end of the subscription, but I want to post this here to be sure I don't lose it. 

I grew up in a household that valued education, spirituality, responsibility, and ethics, and my only older sibling was an extrovert, so it is not surprising that I was a quiet and serious child; I read, listened, and thought a lot. I always considered myself (and my friends considered me, I believe) more mature than my age-mates. I assumed I could and would do whatever should be done in any situation I found myself in. 

In the winter of my life, looking back, I think I was mostly right in that evaluation. I believe that I have lived an honorable and valuable life, and I have had significant accomplishments at every stage of my life. However, there are things I would change about my teens, twenties, and thirties had I the opportunity to live them again -- with the wisdom that has come through life-experience. So here are a few bits of advice I'd like to pass along to anyone with ears to hear (or eyes to read as the case may be.) Some bits of advice come from my successes, and some come from my failures.

Learn and think about old adages. 

Those bits of folk wisdom are not intentionally taught like they have been in the past, so you might have to work to learn them. They have survived generations and been passed down because they have been proven true over and over. Many of those adages come from precepts in the Bible. Here are a few that I particularly value. This list is far from exhaustive.

• ·         Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Called “The Golden Rule) (based on Matthew 7:12)
• ·         Know thyself.
• ·         Knowledge is power.
• ·         Carpe Diem. (Seize the day.)
• ·         A stitch in time saves nine.
• ·         No man is an island.
• ·         There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
• ·         Measure twice, cut once.
• ·         Time is money.
• ·         You reap what you sow.

Learn them. Think about them.

Live by Biblical Principles

These have sustained millions of people through thousands of years. Many of these are included above. The following list is FAR from complete. Here are some particularly good ones:

• ·         Romans 12:12 is one of the most important guides for living. The more you think about this verse, the more wisdom is there. Your MIND is where change begins. Renew your MIND (your thoughts, your day-to-day focus) and you will transform your life. You want a better life? Have better thoughts.
• ·         And that leads to Philippians 4:8. Think about: whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable…”
• ·         Galatians 6:7.  Your actions have consequences (good or bad) on you and those around you – and even on those who come after you. Choose to have a good influence on the world.  This goes along with the adage listed above: “No man is an island” (a quote from a poem John Donne wrote this poem in the 1500s. Read and think about this scripture and this poem.)

Take every opportunity you have to travel.

Seeing a variety of cultures, customs, and lifestyles broadens your mind exponentially.  Travel is one the best and quickest ways to learn that all people are more alike than we are different. I had very little exposure to cultures different from my own until midlife. Reading is the best substitute for travel. My extensive reading (experiencing other ways of life second hand) gave me more of the advantages of travel than I would have had otherwise.

Make conscious and thoughtful decisions about life changes.

Don’t let life just “happen” to you. Don’t choose a college major because it’s expected or easier. Don’t get married just because it’s the time most people are getting married. I think I lived from 15-25 mostly on autopilot. Went to college where it was expected and because it was expected. Decided on a major I was comfortable with. Decided to get married without much thought. Had little input in wedding planning or living arrangements. 

Live Life NOW!

Your teens and twenties are not preparation for life. They ARE life. Start now to BE the person you intend to be throughout life. Don’t waste the best years of your life waiting for something. Do it now.

Take early charge of your education.

Schools in the late 20^th and early 21st century have become focused on teaching skills instead of educating people to think and acquire the wisdom that has been developed through the centuries. Take charge.

·        Force yourself to read classic literature (both prose and poetry), at least some basic ancient philosophy, and history.

·        If possible, find someone to discuss your ideas with. This teaches you to understand what you have read and find the ideas that you question. It helps you clarify your thinking. It also teaches you to express why you think/believe what you think/believe.

·        Find some creative outlet, writing poetry, painting, drawing, producing music in some form. It is essential to a well-rounded and full life.

·         I PROMISE YOU this approach to life will give you a happier life than you would have living on just the surface, doing mundane things through the years.

Life is full of hard and/or unpleasant jobs that HAVE to be done.

This unpleasant fact has taught me several lessons.

1.       What you do NOT do exhausts you. My mother told me this dozens of times through the years. Worrying about it. Dreading it. Dealing with insurance. Handling confrontations of any kind. Making decisions about financial or interpersonal matters. Hard. Unpleasant. I learned the hard way. Just do it! The sooner you do it, the less it burdens you.

2.       Life is a matter of CHOOSING which “hard” you will deal with. It’s hard to budget; but it’s also hard to be in debt and embarrassed. It’s hard to stay in shape, but it’s also hard to deal with illness and dying young. It’s hard to diet, but it’s also hard to be fat. Marriage is hard, but so is divorce and singleness.

 

As one who’s been where you are, these are things I wish I had really understood earlier in life. 

2023 Men

One of the things that has filled my mind since Sunday’s big family event (The wedding of AnnaGrace Turrentine and Zachary Harper) is a new appreciation of men.

I’ve been blessed with so many outstanding men in my life - beginning with my own father, grandfather, and uncles and going up through all the men (old and young) I watched Sunday demonstrating what Godly manhood and masculinity means. It is not easy to be a man in 2023. Their inborn nature is being disparaged by much of society. They are being pressured to ignore their natural and admirable tendency to provide for and protect those around them.

Before the wedding I saw the beautiful young bride, our granddaughter, reach around the door to hold hands with her handsome groom without visual connection. They were surrounded by some of the most important men in their lives. These men were there because of their love for the young couple, because of their sense of responsibility to the young couple, by their need to provide a new generation with their life experience of our human need for God's love in our relationships. They were there to pray for the couple's impending marriage.

The Groom's father - a Baptist pastor, married for over 30 years

The Bride's father - A Baptist deacon and Bible teacher, married for over 30 years

The Groom's uncle - a Baptist pastor, married for more than 30 years.

The Bride's maternal grandfather - A Baptist pastor, married for 58 years.

The Bride's paternal grandfather - A Methodist pastor, married for 59 3/4 years.

It was a holy moment.

As the prayers ended, I turned to look at the yard and saw a line of 12 tuxedoed men and one tuxedoed little boy being photographed: The Groom, his 11 attendants, and the child attendant tasked with preceding the Bride down the aisle blowing bubbles. That little boy is my great grandson; five of the groomsmen are my grandsons; the groom will be my grandson at the end of the ceremony. My son, who is also the father of the bride and tuxedoed as well, was standing just off-camera ready to help corral the active bubble-boy, his grandson. I was looking at 14 more amazing specimens of GOOD and admirable masculinity!

Side Note: Most of the women in the lives of the couple had taken care of the details to make the wedding meaningful and beautiful. They had planned, decorated, cooked, advised, dressed, combed, made up... I will probably write later about their importance and their many contributions to the day as well as to our lives.

Funny, Food-related Family Kid Stories

In going through papers at my Mother's house recently, I found this collection of kid stories I'd sent to her in an email. It features my grandchildren and Jan's grandchildren who were the age for that kind of cute kid talk at the time. All the other family kids were just as cute and full of such communication, but these few just happened to be the right age to get quoted when this email was sent. 

Brianne (just turned 2) Her parents often turned the TV to a ballgame or cooking show when it was time for B to settle down for bedime (to avoice stimulating her and to calm her down.) 

One night, as they watched "Emeril Live", Lyn said, "Well, Brianne, we need to get you to bed." 

Brianne replied, "But I want to watch the man cook!"

*****

Brianne (age 2 1/2) The family was "driving through" a fast food restaurant when 

Brianne (who was very experienced in the protocol for this activity) politely requested, "Mom, det me a sketti combo." Of course, since no such item was on the menu, she got her "sketti combo) from a can when they got home! 

*****

Brianne (age3) was eating pasta at a restaurant. She commented, "Mom, this is messy.I should have just ordered a milk shake."

*****

Brianne (age 3 1/2) was spending the day with her grandmother. Linda had taken a cake out of the freezer to let it thaw. Brianne wanted a pice, so Linda cut her a mall piece. Later at lunch, Brianne told Linda she only wanted another piece of cake - not the food Linda prepared for her. Linda told her that she had to eat some food that was good for her and couldn't just eat junk.  

Brianne replied, "Nanny, that not junk! That CAKE!"

*****

Brianne (age 3 1/2) found a small packet of cinnamon candies as they were getting ready to go to church. and she wanted to eat some. 

"Mommy," she said,"do you think I will get some candy at church, or should I just go ahead and eat some of these?"

*****

Natalie (age 2) was with the family going out to eat. They had to stop by the back first. 

When her dad rolled the window down at the bank drive through, Natalie leaned forward and called out loudly, "Sausage, Biscuit, and Diet Coke!" then turning to her older sister, she continued, "What you want, BeeAnn (Brianne)?" (BTW, Natalie doesn't drink Diet Coke.)

Natalie (age 2 1/2) was eating eggs, not paying attention, and turned her spoon bowl-side up. 

She looked down and said, "What is this? My spoon is upside backards!"

AnnaGrace (age 2) was talking listening to her Daddy talk on the phone to her Granddaddy and wanted to talk to him. Her GDaddy asked her what he was doing. 

Her response was, "Helping Daddy eat his plate." 

Her dad had come home late from work and was eating the "plate" his wife had saved for him.

AnnaGrace (age 2 1/2) loved cantaloupe and held her plate up to ask for "more Santaclope."

Dow (age 5) was horrified when he heard his aunt and uncle talk about having "pasta" for dinner. 

He asked incredulously, "You eat POSSUM?!"

*****

Gibby (age 2 1/2) was in the grocery story with her mother and two OLDER siblings. As they headed into the meat department, Hannah and Johnnie, her siblings, who were walking, ran toward the lobster tank. Her mother saw the older children heading away and called,"Where to do think you're going?" Gibbie, sitting in the shopping cart, piped up, "I let them go see the crabs!"

*****

Gibbie (age 3 1/2) was in the kitchen and asked for a peanut butter sandwich. Her mother asked her to wait a minute while she finished up another chore.  Apparently mom took too long, so Gibbie took matters into her own hands and got out the peanut butter, bread, and jelly and put them on the counter ready for her mother to come make the sandwich. 

"Gibbie," said her mother, "This is crunchy peanut butter; it has nuts in it.  Put it back and get the other one. You like the creamy peanut butter."  

Gibbie replied, "No, Hannah and Johnnie like creamy. I like this!"

Her mother, Charmaine, said, "No, Daddy is the one who likes nuts in it."

Gibbie said, "Daddy like crunchy AND I like crunchy. Hannah like creamy AND Johnnie likes creamy. Hey. I'm beginning to see a pattern here!"

*****

Gibbie (age 4 1/2) started asking her mother about heaven. She was very concerned about whether or not there'd be candy in heaven. Her mother assured her that there would be plenty of candy in heaven (I does say that in the Bible, doesn't it?) Gibbie wanted to know when she would go to heaven. Her mother told her that she doesn't know but that most people don't go to heaven until they are much older.

Gibbie replied, with a sigh, "Oh, okay. Well, I'm still pretty new!" 

To Our Grandchild

 Young Adults, in the newness of their independence, have no idea how much time, love, and heart their parents and grandparents have invested in their lives.  The following poem is written specifically for each of our grandchildren.
(2022-04 Deadlines for Writers. The prompt was "standard." )

To Our Grandchild: 

 

Child of my child; 

Heart of my heart; 

Standing tall at the helm of your sturdy ship, 

You begin your long-awaited journey. 

Sailing away from the safety of our port. 

 

Years we labored, in partnership with you, 

To build a ship that will weather the storms of your journey 

Now we stand ashore, alone, hearts bursting with pride and love, 

Tossing wishes and prayers into the waters to see you on your way. 

 

A prayer for strength to face challenges with confidence! 

A wish for wisdom to choose worthy battles. 

A prayer for direction and focus 

Tempered with grace to alter your route to help others along the way. 

 

We loft entire bouquets of prayers that 

Your ears will always be tuned to your heart. 

Listening. Taking Risks. Risking with care! 

 

Wherever your journey leads, 

Remember you are loved! 

Your ship is strong and seaworthy. 

Homeport is always open, 

And hearts here are rejoicing in your successes.  

My Maternal Grandmother

My maternal grandmother kept a jar of dimes in the kitchen, and would often give us each a dime, which was a fortune to us! She was an incredibly attentive listener. Even though there were several of us, looking back I think she must have intentionally managed to spend one-on-one time with each on of us. She would ask Terry to sing hymns for her, and she would listen raptly. 

I don't remember what she particularly did with any of the others, but I remember her asking me questions - real questions - listening and responding to my childish answers seriously - as she taught me to crochet.  She would ask what I was learning in school (not just how I liked it or who my friends were but what I was LEARNING.)  I realize now how unique that was. She was a hugger and a toucher, which made me feel very warm and secure at her house. 

I remember playing hopscotch on the sidewalk in front of her house or in her dirt yard. I remember watching her move around her kitchen singing hymns as she worked. Biscuits. Hair in a bun at the back of the head. Thick glasses. Housedresses. Snuff! Soft speech.

June

June is always filled with nostalgia for me. I guess it is for most people - it's an active month because of its weather and the fact that school is not in session. So a lot of special occasions are scheduled for June. The month starts for me with our son's bday on June 1! What a day that was back on the actual birth day! He was a week past due. Being the considerate person he has continued to be for mumblety-two years, he kindly waited for his father to finish his seminary classes and graduate before making his appearance. He wanted me to be able to attend the graduation, I guess. Thanks, Steve. Here our baby boy is preparing to "give away" his baby girl last year.

Then on June 3, we celebrate my only antebellum sibling's birthday. Four-year-old Janice and 1 1/2 year-old I were alone with our 20-year-old mother for a couple (3?) of years while Daddy went to war; so Jan and I have always had some sense of separateness from the five younger siblings born after a five+ year gap. Jan, being much more extroverted than I, opened social doors for me throughout our childhood and adolescence. We shared a room and a bed for the first 16 years of my life; one doesn't get much closer than that. This year (today) marks the 80th anniversary of Jan's birth! Wow! There it is in black and
white; so it MUST be true, right? (I won't make the obvious political comment about the 2019 American free press here.) This pic is of Jan and me last year on this day.

Last year, June 3 acquired new significance for me. Our precious oldest living grandchild, Rachael, married her handsome firefighter on June 3, 2018. Rachael is a Rainbow Baby, born just 13 months after her older sister, Caitlin, was stillborn. She has always been a delightful free spirit, always up for fun, always free with her expressions of feelings - happiness, unhappiness, fear, joy, love - whatever she was/is feeling, she's an open book. As a small child, she would run full-force and jump into my (or any of her significant adults') arms squealing with the happiness of reunion after a separation of any kind.

June 7, marks the anniversary of Jim's and my marriage - 56 years ago now! We've shared our lives in so many ways through these years - good times, great times, joyous times, tedious times, sad times, stressful times - whatever has come our way, we've tried to be each other's strength and support. (The dress-up pic was taken a couple of years ago on a South American cruise; the casual one was taken last week.)

June 18 is Lyn and Ricky's anniversary. (Picture was taken last week at our joint birthday dinner for Lyn and Steve.)

 June 23 is Steve and La Donna's anniversary. (Picture was taken last week as we celebrated Lyn's and Steve's birthdays.)

In an extended family as large as ours, it would be virtually impossible to note all the connections that make June a special and busy month in our lives. These are some of the significant ones. So, bring it on, June. We're ready to party!