Thursday, March 09, 2006

Thirteen Short Jokes

Thirteen Short Jokes from Joan
1...."Did I ever tell you about my grandchildren? a proud grandfather asked his friend. "No," replied the friend, "and you don't know how much I have appreciated it."
2...."Mom, school ain't doin' me no good," said Little Rosco. "I can't read and I can't write," he complained, "and they won't let me talk!"
3....Jimmy's mother was trying to teach her pugnacious son that gentlemen don't fight. "Jimmy, when that naughty boy threw stones at you, why didn't you come and tell me instead of throwing them back at him?" she asked. "What good would that do?" snorted Jimmy. "You can't hit the broad side of a barn."
4....Little girl to her boastful daddy: "Aren't you afraid of bears, or snakes, or lightning, or mice, daddy?" "Of course not," he replied proudly. "You mean," the child continued, "you really and truly aren't afraid of anything but just mama?"
5....Maybe parents are just too busy to discipline their kids these days. Mothers are running to bingo games. Fathers are running off to golf courses and bowling alleys. Before they leave the house, they just say, "Son, we left a strap on the bed. If you do something wrong, just hit yourself 6 times on the backside."
6....A group of women were discussing their churches. One lady said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to only 30 or 40 on Sunday nights." Another said, "That's nothing; sometimes our group is down to six or seven." An old maid added her bit, "It's so bad in our church on Sunday nights that when the minister says, 'Dearly Beloved," it makes me blush."
7....A little boy attended church for the first time. As the offering plate was passed, he said, very brightly, "Daddy, you don't have to pay for me. I'm under six."
8....The most terrible feeling I have ever had is to be caught in church with only a $50 bill!
9...."How many members do you have in your church?" a friend of the pastor inquired. "Three hundred," replied the pastor. "Are they all active?" asked the friend. "Oh yes," replied the pastor. "One hundred seventy-five are working for me, and the other hundred twenty-five are working against me."
10....A sad commentary of modern music occurred when someone in the club dropped a tray of plates and seven couples got up to dance.
11....People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the middle of the road.
12....An efficiency expert died. On his way to the grave, he raised the lid of the coffin and said, "If you would put wheels on this box, you could lay off four men."
13....A little man from Mars landed in front of a music store. He looked at one of the pianos in the window and growled, "All right, wise guy. Wipe that smile off your face and take me to your leader."

Angie -
Better Safe than Sorry –
Carol –
Caryn –
Courtney -
Chickadee -
Colleen –
D –
Darla -
Happy Mama to Three -
Indigo -
Jane –
Janne –
JK –
Karin –
Kimmie –
Kelly –
Killired –
Lady Bug Crossing –
Lazy Daisy –
Meg –
Melissa –
Mike –
Musical Mom -
Nicole –
Nicole -
Norma –
Terrell –
Texas_Ivy10 –
Thirdee –
Tracy -
Uisce –
Veronika -

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Above are listed the folks who have visited here in the last few weeks. I am not home to link you this week; but come back next week and I promise I will link to everyone who comments. Trackbacks, pings, comments, links accepted and appreciated!

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